What I asked Apple

Not that they'll reply:

Sir/Madam,

I must admit I was quite surprised to see your homepage today. You seem to be equating the 1960s civil rights movement with buying something from Apple. I would be grateful if you could explain the connection.

Regards

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rosa parks

Wankers

I mean - how dare Apple plaster a picture of Rosa Parks across its homepage, with the slogan Think Different. The sheer fucking cheek. I've emailed them asking for an explanation of the connection. If you're reading this with an iMac or iBook, answer me this: do you somehow feel connected to the civil rights movement because you're using a nice, shiny computer? Do you?

Fucking hippy scum!



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A More Systematic Approach to Hating Apple

What is it we hate about Apple? Is it the fact that their products make us feel like crazy crack addicts whoring ourselves for what will basically do us no good? Is it because they charge a completely spurious premium? Is it the fact that 65% of the British population has a set of white wires attached to its ears, making it look like it's just emerged from a very pleasant, futuristic mental health facility (congratulations on completing our course of treatment; here's your iPod).

Or is it something more tangible? The fact that iPods are so damn quiet? That the batteries last for about 42 minutes?

Is it the hypocrisy? Why does Apple bundle its products up together? Why does iTunes require Quicktime to function? Why does your iPod need iTunes? Why is the latest iPod updater a mind-boggling 55MB download? Apple users used to boast that their company would never do things like make you use a particular product, and that other companies' software suffered from something called bloat. Which reminds me, let's add smugness to the list. Because it's only Micro$oft that makes money: Apple is a kind of benevolent design charity, spreading its soporific whiteness across the face of the planet.

Apple is the anti-punk. 'Never trust a hippy' was perhaps Johnny Lydon's most profound utterance; and Steve Jobs is the uber hippy. So we also watch as witless rockers U2 take time out from saving African people to do a neat marketing deal. U2 have branded one of the west's most potent symbols of its sterility and vacuousness: the iPod. There is something rotten here.

We hate Apple for many different reasons.

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Latest Scheisse Apple Product

As all the world knows, Apple produces a better class of technology than your average company. And us consumers love it: we pay a premium for what any Apple fan will call 'better design', 'better quality' and, of course, 'better looks'. However, scratch lightly beneath the surface and . . .

This is the latest display problem with an Apple product:

iPod Nano class action

What gets me is that this is eerily similar to an earlier problem on a different product:

eMac 'raster shift'

What exactly is it with Apple? Are there serious gremlins in the quality control department? Do they use particularly cheap suppliers? Unfortunately, problems aren't just found with Apple hardware, as we will see.

Update: this site is linked to from the Apple site:

Apple's 'settlement'